farmers in the dell: Halloween Saftey

Its getting closer to Halloween, and I thought I let you in a few good safety tips.

Halloween Safety Rules to Live By

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER go back to check and see if it's really dead.

2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.

5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.

7. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, get the out. Quickly.

8. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits. Again, get out.

9. Do not take anything from the dead. No matter how much you like it, it's bound to disagree with you sooner or later.

10. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.

11. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.

12. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.

13. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

14. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself in the head. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.

15. If power goes out don't look for the cordless phone as it won't work and if your cell phone is not working either, I hate to say it but your screwed.

16. Last, if you constantly hear a whispering kkk iiii llll lllll, sshhhhhhhh, kkk iiii llll llll , sshhhhhhhh, Run like hell away from the sound because, gulp..., the killer is right behind you.

Happy Halloween
I am sorry to report that the author of these Halloween Safety Tips has not been seen since he went camping at Camp Crystal Lake. Once he returns we will give him proper credit.